With a head
full of ideas from there on I constantly made notes. There were endless post-its in my diary, full
with names or places that had no bearing to each other, but rather they formed
a collective of random ideas from the mind of a disillusioned scientist who
knew that there was something else from life that she wanted.
In the end,
it happened. I wrote The Loss of
Deference. Following an effort which
spanned two years, writing chapters sporadically when time permitted, I was
left with something that resembled a manuscript. I privately proclaimed as I sat looking at
the ‘finished’ book that I was a writer, and celebrated that fact by sending
out the manuscript to an agent. It
wasn’t long after this that I got my first rejection letter.
It’s a
strange feeling to have something you have worked on so passionately rejected
outright without any explanation or justification. I sent it out again to another agent, and the
same thing happened. Had I forgotten
something? Had an office junior made a
mistake? I would have liked to think so,
but it was an over complicated solution for a problem that was much more
simplistic.
It wasn’t
good enough.
I left the
manuscript in the cupboard for a while, partially out of disappointment, but
more so out of a growing uncertainty at exactly what it was that I should be
doing to make it better. After a period
of separation, I decided that I had reached the time for objectivity, and
started to truthfully assess the content.
As hard as it was to admit, when I reread the manuscript, I easily found
issues with it. Not just typing errors,
but larger areas of text where I knew I could make it better. With that in mind, I forced myself back into
the editor’s chair and rewrote parts of the story. It was a difficult process, admitting to
myself that what I had produced with such confidence had been
unacceptable. Nobody ever wants to
believe that what they produce is substandard, especially when you want very
much to be successful writer. But in
order to move past the point of failure I had to do just that. Until I accepted it, I couldn’t rework the
material subjectively.
So, why
when I am given an opportunity to talk about my work am I telling you my faults
and failings?
Because it
is a fact that indie publishing grew by 287% between 2006 and 2011(source,
Bowker). Indie publishing is becoming
more widely accepted. It is becoming
mainstream. Indie is no longer
considered quite so alternative, and most readers could name you at least one
self published author who is enjoying success.
The reason? For many writers like
me, e-Book publishing through Amazon or Smashwords has effectively removed the
barrier to publishing, giving us direct access to readers and an unrestricted
route into print. Anybody has the chance
to become published. No painful search
for an agent. No slush pile. No rejection letter. It’s an attractive option. But what this also does is remove the
inherent filter of the traditional publishing world, thus allowing many titles
that would once remain unpublished a chance to find a place in the market. So in a rapidly growing sector that is
inundated by new releases, the only way to carve a niche for yourself is to
bring with you a damn good set of tools.
I have
published three books through Amazon KDP. Since I published the first two I have reworked the covers of both books, and
sat down and re-edited them. I have
listened to feedback and taken the criticism.
On reflection, it is only now that I think both of these books are of the
quality and standard that a reader deserves.
Fortunately for me, readers have enjoyed both releases anyway, before I
re-edited them, but that is not to say that either of the first editions were
perfect. So by admitting this does it
make me brave or stupid? I think neither
of those things. It just makes me
honest.
When I buy
a print book from the bookstore, I am not looking for a poorly edited proof, or
a substandard cover. I am looking for a
quality product that is professionally finished. Self publishing in the beginning is a bit
like growing up as the child of an A list celebrity. Our failings are there for all to see. Our mistakes are made in public. But like anything in life, mistakes will and
do occur, and learning from them is important.
I have just released my third book. It is only this time, now that I have learnt from
the process of the previous two releases that I believe I will get it right
first time. I now have an editor, a designer,
a set of beta readers, and enough patience to wait to release the work. It is only through the process of self publishing
that those writers who chose this path
learn what it takes to publish, and what kind of team you need around you. The name of ‘self’ publishing itself is very misleading. There is a reason that traditional publishers
do not expect writers to come up with everything on their own. There is a reason that it takes longer than
any writer wants to wait before the book is published. There is a reason that my first manuscript
was sent back to me. When there are no
filters in the self publication process, isn’t it about time we start making up
our own?
What is not getting filtered are my appearances, and I am making a few more appearances today. You can check me out on Ailyn Koay's blog, on YahGottaReadThis, and on The Gothic Ballerina talking about how to get over the hurdle of chapter one. Guess I'll be needing my own advice soon!
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